Who is in control

Everything has been triggering me. I think my eating disorder has come back. I get extremely triggered whenever I see someone who is extremely skinny. It’s so triggering for me. I got triggered the other day when someone asked if i’ve ever been beaten. i get so triggered in stores for some reason. everything so overwhelming, i get overstimulated. something weird is happening. all day today and yesterday people at work have been asking if i’m okay. i dont know why. they said i look extremely confused and lost and like im having a moment or something. i dont know. not sure what im doing but i havent eaten in 2 days. i feel like a drone just going along. or a zombie or something. i mean i havent been eating sugar or drinking bad things i dont think. good for my health. i got a new type of coffee mushroom coffee thats supposed to be good. i’ll try it tomorrow. i dont drhink coffee though. am i okay? everyone who sees me asks me, so i dont know.. am i? whyt is everyone asking me if im okay when they see me. what??

i am okay. righit ? i dont know why would everyone ask me. i mustnt be then i dont know. too complicated. no motivation to do anything an ymore. ughhh. i think about ending it every single day.

im in so much pain idk. hate having panic attacks though. but yeeeeah.

im a ghost. nobody sees me.