automation

Wow, same time.

Leader of the KuKluxKlan.

Automation is key

(for me)

Let me explain. I bought a self-cleaning water bottle. Why? Seems like i’m just being lazy, right? Welll yes and no.

So the issue is this:

I have water bottles. I have over 20!!!! I keep buying them!!! why??? BEcause I thiink each one is more better than the last one, I make up reasons inside my head and convince myself I need it even though I probably don’t. The issue is this:

I have too many, and well, the ISSUE I have is CLEANING THEM ALL. I can’t remember to clean a water bottle. My room is constantly littered with water bottles. 10+. It’s a real issue. I just, I just can’t remember to wash them, and that’s a big issue. Drinking gross water sitting there for who knows how long?!?!?! It fucking sucks. There’s been times I just get so mad that I can’t remember to do something simple like wash a waterbottle. It’s not my fault, that type of stuff is hard for me.

So, the justification is, this is the last (take with a tonne of salt) waterbottle i’ll need… The idea is, it CLEANS ITSELF. Therefore, no more getting frustrated on which waterbottle I should use, or trying to figure out which ones are clean and not, and just, I get overwhelmed with my waterbottles, it’s fucking stupid.

I got the Larq one. I’ve used it for 1 day and it’s great actually. I would’ve had like, so many other watterbottles i’ve used, but I only used this one. It’ great because it cleans itself, and I don’t have to get frustrated with choosing a waterbottle and taking it out on myself when I can’t even clean a fucking water bottle. I’ve been trying, But I think this is the best solution for me. Because, I just take this one with me EVERYWHERE, without having to even THINK of cleaning it. It’s fucking awesome. Like, i’m literally in tears, this is literally my savior. It’s been a big struggle with stupid things like that.

It’s so hard to explain, but this might just be the best thing ever. I recall there being times in my dorm, all my water bottles are dirty, I just had to drink alcohol or something. It was fucking terrible. And, at work i’ve been drinking a TON of coke. Cherry Coke. I’m really trying not to drink that a lot cause its bad. I’m really trying, it’s just hard for me.

Automation is key. Automating my waterbottle cleaning WILL result in MORE hydration, and overall increase in mental capacity as I’ll likely be more hydrated considering I don’t have to think about my whole waterbottle issue.

I know it seems stupid, but I can’t remember small things. This is good.

I have to automate things in my life. Otherwise, i’ll just fail. I know it’s all about building habits, but what if I can’t remember these things? It’s hard to explain.

There’s a reason why I got my Whoop. It NEVER leaves my body, I don’t EVER have to think about it. THAT’S THE KEY. Not having to think about it IS THE KEY. And, that’s what I need to do. My room is literred with random crap. It sucks. I feel like I clean it every day, and by the end of the day it’s right back to where it was.

I don’t even know what happens. It’s because I, like, I lay out everything I try to use on a daily basis on the floor. I’ll remember to use it. Like, I lay my blood pressure monitor, and a few other things for my back like a neck stretcher, and a massager, (i have back problems), Because, that’s the only spot I’ll remember it, if it’s in the way on the ground. And to others, it looks like i’m a mess. It’s my system, and it works for me.

Figuring out what I can automate next is key. But, you see: I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t have reliance on automation because I can’t do basic tasks. THe dillema. I can’t live a normal life, right? I guess just try to fit in? I mean, I know I never really ever cared about what others think of me. I’ve always done things… different. And others do call me different. Like last night, people were making fun of how socially akward I was :c and were asking me if I was bullied in school. Just dont think about it!!!!!!!!

I need to automate things. How? I don’t know, i’m sure i’ll go down a random rabbit hole at 3AM and setup something stupid that I don’t really need.

I just need to setup alone time for myself. I really enjoyed getting up at 4AM every day.

No distractions, no worries. Just me. Feels like i’m the only one in the world. I actually am able to accomplish things. Just being by myself, no external thoughts.

It’s the perfect time. Nobody else is awake, just time to be alone, and empty my head.

I’d like to set that back up again. It’s hard, because when I did this, I just, felt alone. Going to bed early. Felt like I was missing out when I went to bed early. I know it’s good for me, I just felt left out doing this. I feel like everything fun happens at night. and I just hate being left out because i’m never included in anything. Like, i’ll go all day without actually talking to anyone, and when someone does talk to me it makes my day.

Who knows!!!!

Do I know? All of this could just be a lie from my imagination. But all I do know is that, I need to fix my life. I do feel like i’ve done that. There’s just a few more adjustments I have to make:

1. Fix my pain.
2. Fix my food.

I don’t know what else honestly. I feel like i ‘ve done everything I can. Like, i’ve been going to therapy, i’ve been seeing doctors, taking meds, trying to be nice to everyone, trying to exercise in the morning and stuff. It just feels like nobody has noticed i’ve been trying. People probably just see me as some weird person. But I have been really really trying, and I don’t know if it shows or not. I’ve been trying to be nice to everyone. I really have been trying.

But yeah, automation is key, right? Did we establish automation is good? Or did we say it was bad? You be the judge of that.

Enjoy~